Codependency in Relationships

Codependency in relationships is often a pattern of behavior that we learn from our own families therefore as adults we will also have codependency in relationships. Codependency in relationships is defined as those supporting dysfunctional family dynamics. Most often codependency in relationships is associated with a family member who abuses substances like alcohol or drugs. Codependency in relationships describes an unhealthy coping mechanism that other family members will adapt in order to deal with the pain caused by an addict or alcoholic. This adaptation results in codependency in relationships where one person will try to control and provide everything for the alcoholic or addict in an effort to "fix" them.

Codependency in relationships is often called enabling because in an effort to fix a loved one the result is that the addict or alcoholic is allowed to continue to abuse substances and can fall deeper into their disease rather than deal with it. The dynamic of codependency in relationships is that the codependent uses the addict/alcoholic as the source of their happiness and attempts to control this source at all times. Manipulation is usually indirect, being nice in order to get one's way and avoiding feelings. Depression, isolation, aggression or extreme passivity are all tools of codependency in relationships that are used to control people around us.

Codependency in relationships is learned from families of origin. Avoiding honest communication about problems, always being strong and perfect and always unselfish are some of the many characteristics that individuals take to extremes in codependency in relationships. Codependents will often avoid confrontation at all costs, making excuses for the troubles of their loved ones while avoiding the real issues at hand. This creates a system where substance abuse is able to flourish unchecked. The substance abuser is able to create more problems while the codependent tries not to rock the boat and control the situation by manipulation. The substance abuser continues to decline and the codependent begins to lose what little sense of self is left. The vicious cycle is reinforced as each feed off of each other's disorder. The results are disastrous for thousands of families.

Spencer Recovery Centers has been treating alcoholism, addiction and codependency in relationships for over a dozen years and can help your family too. Our reputation and facilities are tops in the rehabilitation field and can we have many different programs to suit your needs. Please call our toll free hotline to find out more.