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The characteristics of codependency vary for
each individual and the codependent relationship
they are caught up in but certain characteristics
seem to occur more frequently than others.
The defining characteristic of codependency
is the need to be defined by a relationship
with another person. The feeling that in order
to be worthwhile you must be needed by another
person is extremely dangerous when the other
person is involved in drugs or alcohol. Addicts
and alcoholics tend to be a cyclone of destruction
with problems and drama surrounding them at
all times. Codependent people will feed off
of their constant dependence on others and
a strong dysfunctional relationship is formed.
The addict or
alcoholic will have growing problems involving
the family, work, health difficulties and
financial issues. The characteristics of codependency
are such that a loved one or several loved
ones will continue to come to the "rescue"
of the alcoholic or addict in order to save
them. This relationship is destructive in
that the loved one goes beyond care giving
into enabling the alcoholic or addict to continue
on their destructive path.
Behavior patterns
usually center on controlling behaviors and
agreement behaviors. Codependents will attempt
to control the addict or alcoholic by believing
that they are responsible for their sick loved
one and believe that they are unable to take
care of themselves. Feelings of worthiness
only come when helping the addict or alcoholic
out of yet another crisis and are unable to
let the alcoholic or addict deal with the
consequences head on.
Agreement behavior
patterns are often described as people-pleasing
behaviors in which being overly sensitive
to another's feelings violates your own sense
of right and wrong. Allowing someone to drink
and drive or driving them around town simply
because you don't want to see them upset would
be a characteristic of codependency. Fear
of being rejected results in putting the dysfunctional
persons needs above your own and feeling like
nothing is ever good enough.
If you compromise
yourself and find yourself trying to control
others or avoiding rejection at any cost you
are probably in a codependent relationship.
Spencer Recovery Centers have been treating
codependency as part of the extended treatment
plan of alcohol and drug rehabilitation. Do
not make the mistake of seeking help for an
addict or alcoholic without taking care of
yourself as well. Spencer Recovery Centers
offers a wide variety of programs to serve
all types of clients and we look forward to
hearing from you too. Give us a call today
for more information.
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